I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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