My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
