walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
