I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
