tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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