walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
