He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
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