Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
