Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
