New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
