You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
