Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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