My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
