Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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