we should wear snuggies to the strip club
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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