Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
