you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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