Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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