You really coming over, don't trick.
I hate your face
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
