You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
