I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
