I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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