You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
