I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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