What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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