Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Randomize
