I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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