So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I believe in your delicious
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
