Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
