How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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