some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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