Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
