I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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