I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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