Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
