im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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