I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
