You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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