i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
