why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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