I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
