i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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