I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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