i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
