I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
