the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Can Purell be used as lube?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
