fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
