Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Do vagina's smell?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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