Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
