haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
they need to just BURY HIM!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize