So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
