i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
