dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Randomize
