Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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