would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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