I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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