Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
