I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
