i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
