If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
