I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
