You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The air was thick with penises
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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