A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
