3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
