exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
