Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize