Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
