I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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