As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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