Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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