fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
