I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
