I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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