You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize