i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
